Bunions and Bubbles

This website is being a stupid piece of crap and continually uploaded one of my pictures flipped vertically. I even went back to the picture on my computer and flipped it myself, hoping that this website would flip it the correct way, but somehow it knew and screwed me over again. And it didn't bother with the other picture. Idiot!

Anyways, the whole point of tonight's post is to say that when you get home from being away for so long there are things that you own that you've forgotten about that can make you really happy to see them again. Here are two of those things:

My shiny red shoes.... notice how the freaking picture is flipped wrong. Thanks, blogger, you asshole.
...and my Lush Snow Fairy body wash. This is the best smelling stuff in the universe, even though Emily detects a "rotted fruit" smell to it. To me, it smells like candy fuzzes. Snow Fairy only comes around once a year. I love Lush.
Can you tell nothing interesting happened today? I've resorted to taking pictures of bath supplies and footwear.

Spicy! eXtreme!

So checkiddout... yesterday I bought Sally Hansen's Lip Inflation eXtreme lip gloss. I bought the "Sheer Bare" colour, but it came with an extra tube of clear stuff as well. "Intense formula supersizes lips for hours!" claims the package... apparently I will "see lip boosting results without professional treatments"; "the biggest, sexiest lips possible without the time and expense of a doctor's visit".

They actually refer to it as a "spicy" gloss... with cinnamon extract.

So, with eXtreme, spicy lips just an application away... I figured, why not document my miraculous transformation on the blog!?... let's begin!

Here's my "before" shot! Look at my eyes. They're all lopsided. I wonder if there is some sort of "eye" fixer... even an "eye remover" (right, Em?) that can fix my mangled face without the time or expense of a doctor's visit? *sigh* Screwed-up face aside, let's look at my disappointing mouth: thin. Shrivelled. Definitely in need of something spicy! Something eXtreme! So then I put on the gloss...

WOW. I look like Angelina Jolie, non? LOOK AT THE GIANT DIFFERENCE THIS EIGHT DOLLAR PRODUCT HAS BROUGHT TO THE TABLE/MY FACE. Definitely the "plump, voluptuous lips you've always dreamed of", eh? You can see that the "Hydro-Collagen and Hyaluronic Acid micro-spheres" have done their spicy, plumping work! I *finally* have eXtreme lips, as promised. The stuff kind of burns, very midly, and tastes like cinnamon plastic.
Here's the magic wand/tube! Cheers, Sally Hansen. Cheers to the eXtreme!